Another Chapter Comes to an End

There was a time when I held onto my kids too tightly. It took a big God, an emotionally, physically, spiritually stressed out me, and a tragedy (death of our cousin) for me to see it. I was holding on so tightly to my husband and my kids that it made me sick. The Lord showed me lots of things during those years -- most importantly that HE IS SOVEREIGN. "What" you say? How can a Christian struggle with God's Sovereignty? Probably more often than you think. You see, I could say it with my mouth, "Yes, God is Sovereign" but my heart had not FULLY embraced and submitted to it. There is a BIG difference. Why am I telling you all of this? Well, I have been listening to all of the young moms (I don't exactly fit into this category anymore - mine are all school-age now) express how hard it is to send off their "firstborn" to Kindergarten and how worry and fear are apart of their anxiety. My prayer is that they (you if it applies) will be able to walk away after reading this blog and have a renewed perspective on "Letting go and Letting God."
We as moms will cry every time we send another one off to school! Someone has to do the crying:)! When you have been the sole "daytime" caregiver to this little person who you hope has learned a lot of good and godly things from you in the time that you have had him/her 24/7 for the last five or six years, it deserves a good cry! But does fear and anxiety have to be present? Absolutely not! I lived several years in fear of something happening to Mark, one of the kids, and even myself after the death of our cousin at the age of 26 (there is no one else who can take care of my kids like I can, right???- which sometimes isn't very well). I dwelt on this so much so that it literally contributed to me being sick, depressed, and worthless to everyone. I was holding my family in my fist so tightly that it took the Lord three years to pry it open. Little by little He did. It was painful at times. . . but our Great God works wonders through painful times.

He showed me that:

• My husband and my children don't fully belong to me
  
  
• It is He who knows what is best for my family.
  


• It is He who knows the number of days until he takes my husband, my kids, myself home.
  
  
• It is He who knows where my children are every second of the day while at school.


• It is He who protects them while they are doing crazy stunts on the trampoline (thanks, Heidi!), while riding their bikes; & doing back flips on the bed!
  
  
• It is He who protects my husband when he drives to and from work everyday.


• It is He whose GRACE will cover all of my imperfections as a parent.


• It is He who WILL give me the strength to stand should he take my husband.

• It is He who WILL give me the courage to go on should he take one of my children.
  

• It is He who WILL give me the ability to endure if one of my babies becomes seriously ill.

• It is He who PROVIDES, PROTECTS, & PROMISES.

• It is He who is SOVEREIGN .

My baby is going off to Kindergarten today. Will I cry? --ABSOLUTELY! Will I fear? Will I worry? Will I be anxious? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Will I miss my "Joseph talks?" -- More than ever!

Sending my "baby" off to school is different than my "firstborn baby." Kayla made me cry because she screamed bloody murder when I tried to hand her over to her teacher! Joseph will make me cry because it is closing a chapter in our "Yarbrough Family Album." No more babies at home, no more pre-school, no more moms groups, no more "coffee milk" with french vanilla creamer every morning (that has to stop when you start kindergarten). We move on to the next chapter which is "School-aged children." Am I happy? YES-- no more grape juice on the floor five times a day! Am I sad? YES--I can't live with them and I can't live without them! People always talk about how fast time flies. I used to think that the "Survival Days- all kids under 6" would NEVER end. Now I wonder where it all went. So, like you, I am crying. But remember that fear and anxiety don't need to be apart of it. Our God is much bigger than us! Pray and trust.

Praise be to the Lord,
for He has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield
my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to Him in song.
Psalm 28:6-7

P.S. Enjoy all of the "crazy" kindergarten parties where everyone stands around and watches 20 little kids get hyper on sugar!